first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

baby in the baby carriage! say what!?.... we're HAVING A BABY! woot woot! where to even begin...

our pregnancy story began with our first month of trying late january/early february after our trip to Costa Rica. when it didn't happen as soon as i thought it should...yes, i was entirely unrealistic that first month, and as i mentioned in a previous blog, i was devastated by it.... i had managed to come to my senses and realize there truly was no magic pill for getting pregnant. in the process of this 'common sense' realization, i had managed, by the grace of God, to also come to a true peace of mind and heart, after much prayer and crying out to Him, that if it was meant to be, it would happen when it was meant to be, even if that meant years...

 if it was never meant to be, then i would be an adoptive mother and praise God all the same. as ridiculous as this seemed to some of my family members to hear me talk as if i'd never conceive after two measly months of trying...it was what i needed to find peace again and to not let my world and other relationships, namely with my husband, take a back seat to conception obsession. the truth is, i've wanted to be a mother since  i was a little girl. and in more recent years the itch had taken full course. although circumstances we're not ready for me until now...in my mind and heart i've strongly longed for this day for at least a few years now. to get to a place of peace in really believing that God loves me and only He knows what is best for me, was a matter of relinquishing that control in my mind and heart and this was the situation He chose to use, knowing how desperate my heart was for a baby.

april 15th, 2012. we were off to church in the morning, followed by David's soccer game, followed by a late brunch and bloody marys' at Dini's by the Sea...yeah, sorry about that baby:(  ...then driving home from brunch, i continuously had this strong sense that i was pregnant and kept hearing that little voice "take a test". we were only going home briefly to grab the rest of our things to house-sit for friends of ours up the road. we walked in the door and [to him-what seemed out of nowhere] i casually asked David: "love, do you think i should take a pregnancy test?"  he laughed and said: "do you think you should take a pregnancy test?" 

silly i know, considering the fact that we'd been trying for two and a half months at this point and was due to take one... hmmmm..."should i...shouldn't i?"  as David was unloading his soccer gear, i went straight to the bathroom and reached for one of 15 pregnancy tests i had in the cabinet...mind you, these ones were the dollar-store diagnostic ones, advertised for 99% accuracy but the $16 ept one i'd been saving, that actually reads 'pregnant' or 'not pregnant', was patiently waiting at our friends place with the rest of my stuff packed for our stay there.

the craziest part is that right before i had taken the test, going through my mind was the verse: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" Psalm 118:24 i pondered it and smiled getting all the more anxious to see the results. within seconds, the two lines were as clear as day. i gasped, was shaking, and instantly started crying tears of joy. David heard the 'gasp' and knew. he met me in the hallway with the look of anticipation in his eyes waiting for me to say "we're pregnant!" as his eyes started to tear up. with a wide grin from cheek to cheek, his first words were: "no way!" ....then..."take another one!" ....i said: "i will, but love...we're PREGNANT!!!" we were both in shock.

he jumped in the shower and i went straight for my Bible to look up the verse that had gone through my mind..i continued reading and fell to my knees in tears of joy and gratitude, my whole body consumed by chills as i was fully and acutely aware of His presence around me and His grace and love for me. 

David got out of the shower and dressed and joined me on the couch as we spent more time praying together and giving thanks for this incredible gift of life and love. we agreed that we would wait at least a month before telling anyone with the exception of my sister in texas, so i would have at least one person to talk to about everything....and low and behold...

my sister had ALSO just found out that she and her new husband Cody are pregnant!!! we put it together that we were just a few weeks apart from one another in our due dates and it was...in two words...totally surreal! we are about seven years apart in age and with her full time teaching career and master's program, 14 year-old daughter, and 9 year old son, she did not anticipate getting pregnant any time soon if maybe ever again...nor did we ever anticipate that we'd be pregnant together! it felt completely divinely orchestrated and we were blown away with joy as we cried and prayed together. add to that, my brother and sister-in law, John and Julie, are welcoming their first, a baby boy, in July ....we're all pregnant! 

my first ultrasound couldn't come sooner. i was 8 weeks and 5 days when we got to meet our baby on that screen. there are no words to describe the feeling of seeing that little nugget with a beating heart and knowing that there's a life growing inside you...a life you'll hold soon enough in your arms.

at our second ultrasound  last week (12 weeks and 6 days) i got to see my baby for the second time and couldn't believe how much it had grown! i laid there watching Baby Goodale kick and wiggle...i just smiled and cried to myself in unbelief...

and finally...TODAY...the day i break the news to the rest of the world...we went in for our nuchal translucency ultrasound...if that makes as much sense to you as it did to me, lol ...it is otherwise known as the down syndrome screening. it is an optional test and really only recommended for women over the age of 35, however, we opted to take it. on the rare chance that our baby would have it, we decided we would want to know in order to prepare accordingly. luckily, our baby is as healthy as ever and at XDI ultrasound, the place we went to for the screening, there was another perk to this visit which we were greatly anticipating...

13 weeks and 6 days is the very last day that you can do this test based on the fetal development and many places like XDI ultrasound advertise for 14 week gender determination. insurance usually doesn't cover the anatomy ultrasound done prior to 16-20 weeks so it is one of those things where you pay a place like this to find out early. turns out, according to our baby's measurements, we are 14 weeks and 1 day and we found out! my intuition since the very beginning had been confirmed...

it was a few months before we got pregnant (before we were actually trying) and i couldn't sleep one night so as i lay in bed next to a knocked out husband at 2am, i attempted to pray myself to sleep. i first prayed for my friends and family and then just as i started praying about getting pregnant (God's timing etc.) the name 'Hannah' fell heavy on my heart...abnormally heavy on my heart and seemed to be out of nowhere. as strange as this may sound, i then started feeling this strong sense that it was real and there was a 'Hannah' actually communicating with me...hard to explain...anyhow i couldn't make sense of it as Hannah was never a name that we had toyed with in our "let's plan our future baby names" game. if anything, i had been literally set on the name Sienna if we ever had a girl, giving her my middle name, 'Rose' "giver of love".

so...i reached for my phone to google the name "Hannah" and turns out the name means "Grace (favor) of God". though i knew this story in the Bible, i read it again to refresh my memory...Hannah was married to a man named Elkanah who loved her dearly but he was also married to another woman, Pininnah who mocked Hannah for years over her inability to conceive. Hannah finally kneeled in the temple one day as she prayed in silent desperation that God would open her womb and give her a son. she vowed that if he'd answer her prayer, she'd give him back to God. Eli the priest, who had stood by watching her blessed her as she went on her way. God heard the cry of her heart and gave her a son named Samuel "asked/heard of God" . in spite of how deeply she loved Samuel and wanted to keep him, Hannah, as promised, brought him to Eli the priest as a very young boy just a few years old. Samuel was raised in the temple by Eli and grew to be one of the greatest prophets of all time and for Hannah's faithfulness to her word, God gave her multiple more. 

after discovering the meaning of the name and the 'hope' of Hannah in the Bible...i laid there that night as my prayers turned to tears of hope and finally i had fallen asleep. shortly after, we were pregnant and remembering back to this night...i just knew that it was Hannah and that God chose her name, not me, not us. 

i was even telling my friend Jennifer over lunch yesterday, before finding out today....that every time i'd worry about the pregnancy or the baby during the first trimester, i'd pray to find peace again and every time, i'd always hear that voice tell me "she's ok" ....i really know now...that it was indeed the voice of God and not just my own head...as needless to say, it's been confirmed and we are 100% having a GIRL! Our "grace of God and giver of love" Hannah Rose is growing fast; she's healthy and she is SO loved!!! it was AMAZING to see her (alien face and all) :) on that 4D ultrasound today all cuddled up with her face pressed in to my belly....and to see the look on her daddy's face, who was hoping that she would be a 'she'...we just can't wait until the day we're holding her in our arms! 

thanks for reading and sharing in our pregnancy joy! 

Lots of Love,

Naomi Rose