i do

what's meant to be will always be, we said

what's meant to be will be, we always knew it

here we are now, joined forever

two souls ignite the perfect flame, set love in motion

you are everything and so much more, than i could've dreamed

you're my best friend until the end, we'll be

and now, take my hand

take my heart

i give it all

for as long as i live, i am yours

and you are like a light, guiding me through this life

in your arms, i found my home

i'll always honor you

i'll always cherish you

i'll always stand by you

i'll never stop loving you

this much i've always known

this much i promise you

so take my hand and heart

as i say...i do

what's meant to be will always be, we said

what's meant to be will be, and here we are now.

BEHIND THE MUSIC

...these are the lyrics to the first of many songs to come that i wrote for my husband David and sang to him on our wedding day. there are NO words to describe the pure jOy of marrying someone who you've called a best friend for 8 years. david and i first met 9 years ago and developed a great platonic friendship while waiting tables at Claim Jumper in Carlsbad. inevitably, after breakups with co-workers and a whOLe lot of work drama:)we confessed. i had never known the BIG L-o-V-E until him. he was the first and ONLY -to this day- tRUe LoVe. he was then and still is EVERYthing to me. we had dated for two years before realizing that our paths were headed in different directions~~i wanted to finish college and move to LA LA land in pursuit of an acting career while he, a new college grad, found himself married to the jump start of his career~ and we knew it was time to let go.

i'll never forget the night. i was out at the good-ol' OceanHouse [then Nieman's] in Carslbad Village with one of my best friends,Laura, sitting on the couch telling her that i knew our relationship was on the verge of something, even though at that point there'd been no talk of 'breaking up', and i just 'knew' it was gonna go one way or the other, sooner than either of us would've predicted. sure enough, just hours later, in his room, we were breaking up. knife to the heart and all.

unbeknownst to the other, it came out that night in his room as we confessed that we had both started praying on OUR OWN about surrendering the relationship circa three months before this night. i can remember my drives down to the Carlsbad beach at night, sitting on the ledge listening to the water hit the shore and praying up at the stars. i cried a lot then. i was devastated for an entire three months, knowing in the core of my soul that it was only a matter of time. things just weren't 'right' and we both knew it.

we spent five hours breaking up. five hours trying to let go. laid side by side on his bed. laughed. hugged. reminisced. cried. kissed. and finally said, "what's meant to be will be" "goodbye"

it took everything in me to leave, questioning 'WhY?' we couldn't just 'work it out'. Neither of us even wanted to break up...but we 'knew' it had to happen...I was angry. hurt. purely devastated.

it took a week of crying on my sister's couch to even find the energy to laugh about the little things in life again. i only finally came out of my intense state of depression when i heard the still small voice of GoD beckoning my soul... "where is your hope Naomi?"

i had the realization that if i allowed all my hope to lie in ANY human relationship, i was only setting myself up for disappointment. i knew i had to place my hope, my faith, and my trust in GoD and GoD ALONE. i had to believe the fact that this was for the GOOD of my SoUL.