learning to "let it be"...

in L-I-F-E requires understanding that only 'time' heals wounds and for that reason, there will be many 'times' in our lives when we need to just "let it be". we are human. we are flawed. we think differently. we see differently. we feel differently. we react differently. 

we are, all of us, whether we like it or not, at some point in time going to hurt someone we love and be hurt by the one(s) we love in return. and sometimes, despite our best efforts, it can be a losing battle when the one(s) we are tying to 'repair' with  refuse to reason with us or step outside their own point of view for even  a moment, if not just for the sake of loVe and moving forward to 'agree-to-disagree'. the obstacle of 'pride' instead, stands tall in the way.

by nature i am a peacemaker and don't like having tension with anyone in my life. it was written on my soul since the day i was born. 'Naomi' "pleasant" 'Rose' "giver of loVe" thanks mom and dad ;) ...and while those who know me best, know that i am a pretty loving, happy-go-lucky, positive-minded individual all around...am i always a 'pleasant' person? no. am i always a positive person? no. are any of us as human beings? 

all we can do is try to remember that we 'loVe' each other in spite of our differences while doing our best to work through them...

our souls are discovering how to 'cope' in a world where we will never agree on everything....in a world where often times, our own 'blood', the ones who we feel are 'supposed' to love us and know us the best are sometimes the ones who know us the least and still manage to hurt us the most. when we are 'hurt' we are 'hurt' and it becomes very difficult to see outside any other perspective [than our own] in the midst of that hurt. we feel defeated by it, and fearful of what the future may hold over it. i have learned this lesson before...and the last couple days have proven that i need to learn the lesson all over again... to "let it be" and wait on God and 'time' for healing.

i am striving toward that and realize more and more, by the day,  that to combat any negativity in my life i must find a way to quickly turn it around in the very opposite direction, so as not to 'dwell'. even if that means temporarily removing myself from a line of communication whether i want it or not.

by nature, i am a strong willed and strong-minded individual, at times to a flaw.  i always have been. when i believe in something i fight hard for it, bull horns and all. when my character is attacked, i stick up for myself and stand my ground~ while simultaneously trying to create the peace again. "agree to disagree" is my mantra when there is no other resolution. 

if i chose to stay angry or 'write off' every friend or family member who didn't 'agree' with me,  i don't know how i'd survive. i'd be one lonely individual. i need the relationships and the love in my life to keep me going. and that is 'life' for you. knowing that the 'hurt' will happen, deciding for yourself what the best thing you can do in the situation  is when you know you've given it your all, and learning how to work through it, for the good of your own soul. whatever that decision entails. my advice remains the same. go to the 'Source' within you with honesty. 

i can only hope and pray that the day will come when things will be different. when there will be laughter again between myself and this person i love...i love dearly and will for as long as i live, even if we manage to never see eye to eye.

i am not a victim here,  i am merely coping and learning how to turn the negatives into positives,  as it happens in my life. i am a writer and this is my outlet. but for the sake of discretion, there's no 'who' or 'details' of the 'what' to this post as it is irrelevant... there is only the lesson learned.. that is, to place mY trust, ALL of it, in God who is the onLy One who knows exactly what is in my heart. He is the only path to take in these times of hurt and confusion. when i don't, i dwell on the negative. i dwell on the anger. i dwell on my own point of view. i dwell. i dwell. i dwell...

i was almost defeated to this hurt and anger last night. about to leave work, on my way out the door to go meet my 'music-producing' friend:) for a second recording session, when a string of hurtful text messages came in.  the first of which i angrily responded to, before i was bursting out in tears that were full of hurt, and anger toward this person. ready to walk out the door, to call my husband and 'unload'..dwell...and already running late at this point to record, my first reaction was to give in. to call my friend Rumsy and tell him, 'i'm sorry', 'i can't come tonight'. 

i felt so emotionally defeated and angered by what i had read. all that my 'flesh' wanted to do was 'dwell' on it. bawling my eyes out, i started the car ready to go home. that is until i heard that beautiful, sweet,  still small voice beckoning my soul. i paused. turned off the car and was ready to seek out my true 'Source' in the matter. closing my eyes, i cried out to God in prayer. 

all that came to my mind was "i trust You, i trust You, i trust You" as i began to say it louder and louder over and over again....i finally asked my 'Source' the question. 'what do i do?' ...and the answer as blunt and blatant as it could've been; "GO SING".

ironically enough, the cover song i had planned to record [prior to the start of all the personal drama] was none other than "Let it Be" by the Beatles... coincidence, maybe? or maybe, the Father of my soul~ His own way of helping me move past it and allow it to 'be'.  'the show must go on' ...

despite hearing my incoming text messages (i knew who they were from) i had to make the active decision not to check them at that point or even on my way home. i had an incredible recording session and i was on a pure natural high the whole drive home.  followed up with the video shoot this morning, my SoUL is Singing ON... "Let it Be!!!"

oNe Love,

Naomi